I’ve never considered myself to be a very persuasive person. Arguing, especially, has never been enjoyable to me. As many of my friends (and especially my exes) know, I would rather walk away than try to convince someone of something they clearly don’t (or don’t want to) believe. I was obviously never meant to be a lawyer, despite my brief but rewarding stint working at a law office in high school. Something I’ve realized, though, is that the hardest person to convince of something is usually myself. I think that’s the case for most people. We can’t rely on others to convince us of something and we usually can’t convince someone of something until they convince themselves of it.
Something I mentioned in my last post was that I love running. As I also wrote in that post, it’s something I recently discovered (re-discovered, actually). In fact, I used to hate it. Hate it. The thought of it would make me sick. I did it because I had to in the Marines, but I didn’t enjoy one second of it. There was definitely a mental block there for some reason. I’m still not even sure why.
Well, a few months after getting out of the Marines, I started running again seriously. It was mostly because I didn’t want to gain weight and not because I thought it was fun. I found a little park with great trails within running distance from where I lived at the time (Mason District Park for any local readers who need a new spot to check out). It turned into my getaway. I soon found myself running longer and longer distances. I didn’t want to stop. I was running 8-10 miles at a time and would stop simply because I was running out of time and had other things to do and not because I actually wanted to. Crazy, right?
Somewhere along the way, I fell out of it again. I think winter hit, and when it comes to the cold, I have very little willpower to get my butt outside if I don’t have to. I honestly forgot how much I loved it and what I got out of it. I picked it up again in April or May of this year and I haven’t looked back. A friend (okay, a cute guy friend) convinced me to go on a trail run with him. We went to my old stomping grounds (Mason District Park once again). It took being back in that familiar place, among the trees where I could forget for a little while that I was in the city, to remind me of what I was missing out on.
I don’t think I ever made a conscious decision to love running, but I’ve since made a conscious decision not to let myself forget that I love running. Running has gotten me through some of the most difficult times in my life, because for a little while, I feel powerful and like nothing–no pain, no hurt–can touch me. Do I look forward to lacing up my running shoes every day? No way. Work can be draining and it’s way too easy to zone out on the couch as soon as I get home. But I do look forward to the run itself and the gratifying feeling after the run, so that’s what I focus on.
Running is one thing. Racing? Something else entirely. At this point it’s easy to convince myself to go on a run. It feels good. There are obvious health benefits. I can shut out the world for a few minutes. Well, a friend and co-worker of mine asked me to sign up for a local Turkey Trot 5K with her. I complained about it for at least a month or two leading up to it. It was just running, sure, but even though I enjoy running, racing meant pushing myself and and turning my little escape into something uncomfortable for me. Running with other people still isn’t something I enjoy. I did it though, and once again, I surprised myself.
I came in 4th of 64 in my age group (females 20-29) at 24:33. Just like how five years ago I wouldn’t have imagined I’d ever actually enjoy running, I never would have imagined I’d do that well in a 5K. It’s not about the numbers, but the numbers did make me realize that I shouldn’t let something like being out of my element scare me away from something. Not only did I surprise myself, but simply letting a friend talk me into a 5K kept me hitting the pavement for runs in the bitter cold because I knew I didn’t want to completely embarrass myself. I’m now on the hunt for another 5K in January or February simply to make sure I don’t let the winter ruin running for me.
This isn’t necessarily meant to be about running. I’m not trying to turn everyone into fitness fanatics (I’m not even one myself), but I do think we all find ourselves with mental blocks that prevent us from enjoying various pieces of life. We’re all missing out on something, whether we realize it or not. Public speaking is a big challenge for most people, including me. Some people are just naturals at it, but we’re all definitely capable of it. Do I like it? Heck no. I get the jitters and I talk way too fast in front of people. When my boss presented me with the opportunity to put together and deliver a training presentation for a program I’ve been working on, it terrified me, but I didn’t let myself dwell on that. I bit the bullet and I’ve found it to be oddly worthwhile, even though I still have some definite improvements to make. Find your motivation and make it work.
Now, if I could only convince myself that I really love salads!
I do plan on posting quite a bit about music, so for anyone curious, here’s what my 5K playlist looked like yesterday:
- Riptide (FlicFlac Remix) by Vance Joy
- Cut Your Teeth (Kygo Remix) by Kyla La Grange and Kygo
- All My Love by Major Lazer
- Heavy Metal and Reflective by Azealia Banks
- Ice Princess by Azealia Banks
- Wildfire (Original Mix) by Borgeous
- Only Getting Younger by Elliphant feat. Skrillex
- Prayer in C (Robin Shulz Remix) by Lilly Wood & The Prick
- In Your Arms (Club Mix) by Michael Woods feat. Lauren Dyson
Have any suggestions for upcoming DC-area races? Drop them in the comments section below!
LifeWeave 